| Recently we've encountered several articles that give | | | | you then go buy it at your local supermarket. Using |
| you amazing, interesting and alternate uses for Home | | | | your precious home brewed beer to make meat soft |
| Brewed Beer. These strange ideas suggest you do | | | | is not just a travesty, it's just dumb. |
| odd things with beer, other than drink it yourself or | | | | 3. "Polish your dishes and pots and pans with beer." |
| have your family, friends, loved ones and total | | | | You've got to be kidding me. Unless you're one of |
| strangers drink your beer. In the spirit of accurate | | | | those people who collect dryer lint to knit a sweater |
| reporting we urge you to read this special report and | | | | this is one of the strangest ideas ever. It comes |
| make up your own mind. | | | | from the old tradition of using the last few drops of |
| Here is a list some of these insane and dangerous | | | | beer in a barrel to polish the "copper" kettles that |
| ideas. We urge you to be on the look-out and if you | | | | beer was brew in. Uh, hello, we have copper cleaner |
| see others using home made beer in these | | | | now. We don't use Morse Code on the internet, |
| ways...report them immediately to the "Beer | | | | Don't polish your dishes with your very special home |
| Monitors," and Yes, it will go on their permanent | | | | made beer. |
| record. | | | | 4. "Use Beer to Massage Your Feet." Oh, the |
| 1. "Home Brewed Beer can be used as a Fire | | | | humanity, Oh the utter foolishness. Put a bottle of |
| Extinguisher." Oh my goodness, good golly Miss Molly, | | | | your hand crafted, superb and wonderful tasting beer |
| for heavens sake and, "Not on my watch." The | | | | on the floor and run your feet over it, because your |
| obvious solution to this terrible suggestion is, "Always, | | | | feet hurt? I think NOT. Need something cold to run |
| and at all times carry a full box of baking soda in | | | | your feet over, freeze a can of succotash (yep, |
| your purse or back pocket." As you well know baking | | | | supermarket again.) Never, ever run your feet over |
| soda is an excellent fire extinguisher. Home made | | | | home brewed beer. Please understand, it' not that |
| beer is not to be used for this purpose unless a | | | | we feel this is disrespectful, it's just way too stupid |
| family member is on fire, then by all means, shake, | | | | and a can of succotash is like way cheaper. |
| pop-the-cap and, "Put them OUT!" We know several | | | | We sincerely hope that you've found this de-bunking |
| of you currently carry a box of baking soda with you | | | | of the most terrible alternate uses of Home Brewed |
| at all times, to you we say, "Bravo," it's odd, yes, but | | | | Beer enlightening. And yes, for those of you who are |
| you are a special person. | | | | wondering, there are many other really goofy ideas |
| 2. "Home made beer can be used in a marinade and is | | | | out there on what to do with beer. What is our |
| excellent for tenderizing meat." The theory is that | | | | advice you ask? Honor it, treasure it, pay homage to |
| our preciously brewed beer is slightly acidic and will | | | | it, but most importantly when you brew your own |
| make meat softer. Here is our solution for that, "If | | | | beer, drink it and enjoy it. |
| you need SOFT meat, put it in the food processor, | | | | Here is our Public Service Message: Do not drink while |
| otherwise CHEW MORE." Want a great meat | | | | driving! You're liable to hit a bump and spill the whole |
| tenderizer, go to the Food Channel | | | | darn thing! (Cheers to the Kingston Trio, yes that |
| (foodnetwork.com) enter "meat tenderizer" in the | | | | was before your time. |
| search box, guess what you get, "Meat Tenderizer" | | | | |
